Saturday, 6 February 2016

The reason why I keep going.

Hi guys. I know this is sudden. Haven't been updating since 2014. So I thought why not 'try' and restart this blog.

A lot has happened since the last post. It's been two years already. And I'm finally a Doctor after 5 years in Medical School and 2 years in Pre-Med. I must add that it has been one hell of a journey to be where I am right now and at times I'm still in disbelief that I am a qualified doctor and that people who are under my care would look up to me for advice and good care. 

Well, I'm still provisionally registered as a Doctor. Which basically means my practice as a medical doctor is still limited. I have to undergo two years of Housemanship to complete my registration. Cool thing is I'm doing simultaneous UK and Malaysia registration for medical council. I don't really know where I would end up with the UK's registration but I felt that it would be a waste to pass up on the opportunity. 

Now, I'm in paediatrics. Working environment is pretty okay. But I've heard there are worse yet to come. Being a doctor isn't just about the long hours, the high demand of the society to know everything and perform perfectly, but also having to deal with your bosses. Pleasing the many hierachy of which you are at the very bottom of the food chain is perhaps to me is the worst. Some bosses do understand how it felt like, and mostly don't. To the many aspiring medical students, I hope you're prepared mentally to deal with this because trust me when I say the quitting rate is very high in Malaysia. 

Not everything is all gloomy. Sure, there are some bad times that would just suck the life out of you for days. But there are some days that would make you realise why you did medicine in the first place. You just gotta hold on to those days. I've had a patient who came in because of a heart disease. He was very young not more than 10 years old. His mother was worried that he won't make it through the night seeing how his son was admitted and intubated(put a tube into his airway) in the ICU. He was fine and was subsequently transferred into acute cubicle where I had to look after him. 

I had explained what I understood about the illness to the mother because she still had some confusion. Everything happened so fast she didn't remember anything anyone told her about it. I carefully explained it to her for a while and she was glad to hear my explanation. I think I did a great job explaining. In the following days, eventually this boy got discharged from the ward. And as usual I was doing my work in some other parts of the ward. The mother came looking for me and had personally thanked me for treating her son. And I told her there is no need to thank me and that it was my job to help her son. She refused to acknowledge that I was doing it because of my job, and she felt I did it because I was sincere. 

There are other patients who did the same and those are the times when all the hard work and long hours was all worth it. 

Everyday I sat in my car just before i leave work for home, i would sit back and think of the long day that i had and think about the patients I had seen. Its just an amazing feeling. Knowing that i had made a small tiny difference in their lives. And that is more than enough for me.