Saturday, 26 September 2009

Being part of heart surgical team :)

He walked into the operating room bringing along files and few music cds. He played a cd, and it was Bach.

The patient has been sedated to a deep sleep. The operation is about to begun. I introduced myself to the cardiologist, Dr. Lee and the anaesthetist, Dr. Lim. They welcomed me and I was astounded by their friendliness. I always thought that specialists are smugs.

I stood a metre away from the operating table. Not daring to go nearer unless invited to. Dr. Lee called my name, and he asked me to stand beside him. It was so cool!!!

He stated off with a scalpel and cut the patient's chest from the throat towards his diaphragm. He then uses an electrical rod to cut the patient's flesh and fats. As he cuts, the flesh burns and gives out a smell. I still smell it till today.

After that, he took out a surgical saw, a big saw and cut the sternum open. This is the scary part. To think that your rib cage is cut opened by a saw, really gives you the jitters.

When it was open, he cuts a thin layer of membrane that protects the lungs and the heart. The NIBP monitor (it shows the ECG, heart beat, Blood pressure, aortic volume, ventricular volume) shows everything is normal.

After Dr. Lee reaches the heart, he took a scalpel. He reaches for the Aorta...( Oh my god, you would not believe how big is the aorta!!) and cut it open. Immediately, there was a blood fountain, filling up the heart cavity. The BP was dropping.

He quickly inserted a plastic tube and connects it to a ventilator. He did the same with the anterior vena cava.

He then said " Mr Mok, would you please empty the heart?"

Mr Mok replied " Emptying the heart now.."

Mr Mok works as the ventilator operator. He controls the machine that replaces the heart function.

The heart stops beating. He did what he had to do, and may I say that he is very meticulous with his work.

After 5 hours of operating, the situation was getting more relaxed. The operation had been successful. He then allows the heart to pump blood by itself. The anaesthetist took a blood sampel and hand it over to an attendant, asking him to perfom a blood check.

Suddenly, his blood pressure drops to 46/42. Dr. Lee said, " This is not good"

" Give him 2 cc of adrenaline and 5 ml dilute 15 protamine NOW!!!"

Situation was getting tensed. His eyes was glued to the monitor...Hoping that this patient's BP would increase back to normal. The BP stayed at 50/46.

Still wasn't good enough......He was about to lose the patient. If the BP doesn't go up, the body cells would not be able to get oxygenated blood. If the brain were to be insuficient of oxygen, he could be paralyzed or even dead.

" Flush his sytem"

What the hell? I don't know what is flush. I can't tell what he did but the patient's blood pressure was increasing back to 140/82.

" Thank god" DR. Lee said. I smiled feeling grateful that I don't have to witness a death.

Blood check results was out and he examined it. Potassium level was 6.9.

" Hell, why is the potassium so high? "

" I'll give him a dose of insulin." said Dr. Lim, the anaesthetist.

"Check his ECG" Dr. Lee said.

" ECG a little bit irregular, but fine " a nurse said.

" Another dose of insulin please " Dr. Lee said to Dr. Lim.

" ECG is normal. Check his blood again" Dr. Lim instructed an attendant. The attendant rushes out of the operating room.

Potassium level was normal again. It had been a successful surgery. Everybody was happy. I wasn't involve but I shared a bit of their happiness. Feeling relieved that the surgery had finished and I can finally go out. :D

I changed the surgical clothing and heads out. As I walk out the operating theatre, there were many people waiting outside. They gave me a stare but I just walk through and smiled at them.

There was a child that was blocking my way. He didn't notice I was there but I wasn't able to walk through. So, I stood there waiting for the child to move away.

His mom said in chinese " Come here baby, doctor wants to pass through"

I was really embarassed, my face turned red. I quickly walk away leaving them behind.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

My first Labour birth :D

Today, I was in a hospital and I was attached to a Paediatrician, Dr. Tee. Since today was a really busy day, so I sat in his clinic watching him examine babies, kids. Nothing much really, but attached to him was very hectic.

At one point, he was examining a kid and suddenly he got a phone call. He clicked his handsfree and closed it back a sec later.

" Do you want to follow me to the labour clinic?" By the time he finished said this, he was already moving and about 2 metres away from me. He's a small guy but walks at an incredible high speed. I have to jog to catch up with him.

I went straight through doors, which most of them are only for hospital personnels. I was granted all access to the hospital actually. But by courtesy, I only enter by permission. When, I came in, there are nurses who wanted to stop me from coming in but the paediatrician said

" Nevermind, nevermind....He's a medical student"

I was embarassed. I haven't completed IB yet much less entering a medical college.

And so, I went into the Labour delivery room.

Before I step in, Dr. Tee said this to me " Do you want to come in? A lot of blood you know.."

I don't care anyway. If I want to be a doctor, I must make myself tolerable to blood. When I took a step into the room, it was really not a sight to be seeing. Blood was really everywhere. And must I say that, I wasn't expecting this much of blood.

A gynaecologist came in next and Dr. Tee explains to him who I am. The gynae was glad and a welcoming smile was on his face " Welcome to the team"

Oh my.....I'm not yet in the team....And I certainly don't know what to do if he asks me to deliver the baby. Fortunately he didn't.

Then, a scream of pain came next. She was shouting and screaming in pain. I never seen someone in pain so much. Now I know why women are treasured in Islam. Because they bear pain to give birth to life.

After a couple of try, the baby is not yet out. The doctor have to perform suction of the baby. Soon after he did that, the baby's head was out.

I really thought it would be like in a movie where the doctor would shout, " I can see the head!!!" but it wasn't really like that. I was surprised actually when the doctor start pulling out the baby's head.

When the baby is out, Dr. Tee took a hold of the baby. It was a she. He quickly wipe of blood from the baby and cleans off her air ways and trachea by sucking all fluids in the passageway.

The baby cried loudly. I can't help but to smile to myself, knowing that I had witnessed a birth. It is as though that the baby is shouting " I'm here....and I exist".

Dr. Tee gave the baby to the mother and she kissed the baby on the forehead. I was happy for her eventhough I'm not related for her. She had done a great job.....I'll never forget that.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009


I looked outside......A sigh came next...

I kept asking.....who am I in this world? What significance do I bring? Sometimes, I feel my life is not worth it. I've done nothing before....Sure, I always say that " Your presence are surely felt...someone, somewhere would always remember you..." but....I don't know what to say...

Some things are meant to be told. Some things are meant to stay in your heart. I can't find the words to explain how I feel right now. But, every moment of it is truly an Agony...

I believe what I'm feeling is Loneliness.....

I know I have friends....I'm not saying that they are not important in my life....They're the ones that made me who I am today.

But, have you ever felt that while you plunge yourself into the hustle and bustle of life....your friends, studies, problems......You actually feel alone?

I do feel it all the time. All the while...and it's killing me. I wish to stop it....I can't find the answer. There is one...but not the one that I'm willing to take.

Monday, 21 September 2009

My regret...

I'm done hoping.....It's time to move on to my life...
Wish I left it long ago...but I only realised it now..What a waste energy..
Sick and tired of your games...If I had a time machine, I wish I never knew you at all...

Sunday, 20 September 2009

Simple Wish




Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Peristiwa ketika Majlis Berbuka

Pada hari Isnin yang lalu, kolej mara seremban telah mengadakan majlis khatam al-Quran dan juga majlis berbuka puasa.

Sewaktu menunggu bermulanya majlis khatam al-Quran, aku pon duduk kat surau...menghabiskan waktu sambil menunggu bermulanya majlis. Dari jauh, aku nampak fakri(junior) sedang duduk di meja batu di hadapan balqis.

Agaknya dia telah mengendap sape la tu....

Aku pon, dengan beraninya, berjalan ke asrama balqis......dan tetibe.....ade sorang budak kat situ. Umur 6 tahun kot....Menangis teresak2...

Aku tanya Fakri...."ni sape?"

" Dia dtg dengan anak2 yatim tu"

"Oh....nape dia nanges? Ko buli ke?"

"Tak lah....Dia teringat mak dia rasanya...."

Waktu itu, merah sungguh mata budak itu......mulutnya ternganga lebar....menjerit2...hingus dari hidungnya, menitis masuk ke dalam mulutnya sendiri....sedih dan sebak aku rasa waktu tu....

Budak tu ckp " Umi, Nak aik!"

Aku waktu tu, pon decipher kata2 budak tu.

Umi = Ibu

Nak = hendak

Aik = ??? (Ini yg susah sikit.....)

Aik tu ape??? Adakah taik??...tak mungkin.....Balik??? YEah YeAh...

Jadi, aku pon buat conclusion iaitu, apa yang hendak disampaikan oleh budak itu ialah..."Ibu, nak balik!"

Aku sangat kasihan ngan budak tu....aku dah mcm nak buat dia adik aku kat KMS ni....dah la comel.....Waktu menanges tu, boleh pulak menguap.....! Lima kali pulak tu.... Dia menguap, pastu nanges balik....hahahaaaa....

Setelah berusaha selama setengah jam memujuk dia....dia tetap jerit...." Umi nak aik!"


Penat den dah ni...!

Lepas tu dia senyap.......ALHAMDULLILAH...Tp, dia sambung balik nanges...! =.=

Kemudian, Fakri ckp, "mungkin budak ni nak sesuatu kot"

Jd, kami pon, cubalah mcm2.... " Adik nak gajah?" "Adik nak kereta?" "Adik nak abang fakri?"

Selepas lama mencuba.....akhirnya, satu soalan yang berjaya membuat adik tu mengangguk kepala..." Adik nak air?"

Rupa-rupanya....." Umi nak aik" tu ialah Rozi nak air..... ( Nama dia rozi...) hahahaaaaaa....
Dua budak kolej cuba mengetahui isi hati seorang budak yang belom skola lagi....pon tak lepas...=.=

Akhirnya, kita bawa budak tu ke DS....minum air sirap...Agak ralat la, sbb kita yang buat dia berbuka, kesian dia....umur baru 6 tahun........takpe la tu....

Itu aje lah.....

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Sahur Routine....=D

Its 4.30 am.....My phone alarm is ringing....My hand reached out for it and the fingers knew exactly where to press. Its time for SAHUR...

I stood up, with eyes half shut. Walked around in my room, just to freshen up abit. Opened the doors and looked at the quiet, and empty hallway....

I trudged my way to the toilet, and answer the nature's call....Washed my face...Looked into the mirror, " Another day has come " deep within my heart.

I went to the far side of the floor, the other side of the exit way. Just to wake Ciko....Normally, I'll skip his room because his room is at the opposite site, but he personally asked me to wake him up.

So, I entered his room.....Look at Ciko sleeping in fetal position underneath his warm, comfy blanket. I went to him and pat him on the back...

" Ogre! Ogre! Bangun Ogre!! " ( If you do not know, Shrek is an Ogre )

He would suddenly rise up from his bed, looking akwardly at his room as though his room was an alien place to him....

Its near 5 am now.....I went to each room, waking them up....But not all of them woke up.

My style of waking people up is calling their name softly or pat softly on their back asking them to wake up. I hate to disturb people's sleep because I knew what it feels like when my sleep is disturbed....

Normally Ciko or someonelse would do the dirty work.... =D

The last room would be Leman's room since his room is the closest to the stairway. To wake Leman up would require a technique in which i'm not gonna expose here....sorry!

Then, downstairs I go....towards DS....For SAHUR....

Next, go up again.......On my way to my room, I would stop by to wake anyone sleeping...As usual, they would remain asleep...

Then into my room....doing whatever is necessary....

Everyday, wake up 4.30 am or 4.45 am....

That is my sahur has been since my first puasa in KMS....and it will be until next week tuesday....until holiday....Wish me luck... =D