A father's and Palestinian love...

It's been a busy week, preparing for exams and osces but I can't help to stop for a while and write something up for what happened in the middle east, the land of Jerusalem. I found this article that translate a prisoner's letter for his 2-year old daughter name Lamar. His daughter was born after he was detained by the Israeli. He's Thaer Hallelah. The man on a hunger strike.

It brought me to tears.

Below is a translated version of Thaer’s letter, by Jalal Najjar:

“My Beloved Lamar, forgive me because the occupation took me away from you, and took away from me the pleasure of witnessing my firstborn child that I have always prayed to God to see, to kiss, to be happy with. It is not your fault; this is our destiny as Palestinian people to have our lives and the lives of our children taken away from us, to be apart from each other and to have a miserable life. Nothing is complete in our lives because of this unjust occupation that is lurking on every corner of our lives turning it into eeriness, a continuous pursuit and torture. Despite the fact that I was deprived from holding you and hearing your voice, from watching you grow up and move around in the house and in your bed, and that I was deprived of my role as a human and a father with my daughter, your existence has given me all the power and hope, and when I saw your picture with your mother in the sit-in tent, you were so calm staring in wonder at people, as if you were looking for your father, looking at my pictures that are hung inside the tent asking in silence why is my father not coming back. I felt that you are with me, in my sentiment and inside my mind, as if you are a part of my heartbeats, steadfast and the blood that flows in my veins, opening all doors for me spreading clear skies around me, and unleashing your free childish voice after this long silence.”

“Lamar my love: I know that you are not to be blamed and that you don’t yet understand why your father is going through this battle of hunger strike for the 75th day, but when you grow up you will understand that the battle of freedom is the battle of going back to you, so that I can never be taken away from you again or to be deprived of your smile or seeing you, so that the occupier will never kidnap me again from you.”

“When you grow up you will understand how injustice was brought upon your father and upon thousands of Palestinians whom the occupation has put in prisons and jail cells, shattering their lives and future for no reason other then their pursuit of freedom, dignity and independence. You will know that your father did not tolerate injustice and submission, and that he would never accept insult and compromise, and that he is going through a hunger strike to protest against the Jewish state that wants to turn us into humiliated slaves without any rights or patriotic dignity.”

“My beloved Lamar keep your head up always and be proud of your father, and thank everyone who supported me, who supported the prisoners in their struggle, and don’t be afraid for God is with us always, and God never lets down people who have faith and patience. We are righteous, and right will always prevail against injustice and wrong doers.”

“Lamar my love: that day will come, and I will make it up to you for everything, and tell you the whole story, and your days that will follow will be more beautiful, so let your days pass now and wear your prettiest clothes, run and then run again in the gardens of your long life, go forward and forward for nothing is behind you but the past, and this is your voice I hear all the time as a melody of freedom”.

Credits to Maan News agency and the translator. 

Merdeka, Independence and Malaysia

"Kita kena bergabung untuk lawan mereka ni!"


"Sampai bila nak berdiam? Hak orang Melayu akan hilang! Anak cucu kita nanti yang terpaksa tanggung kesilapan kita!"


Dato' Onn Jaafar said these words more than half a decade ago. He was then fighting for a the rights of the Malays, indigenous people of Malaya. The British, who colonised Malaya, proposed the formation of Malayan Union, which gives Britain sovereignty on Malaya even after independence. Anyone is eligible to become citizens of Malayan Union. Dato' Onn Jaafar formed a party of which he named United Malays National Organization(UMNO). It started out as group searching for their rights on their own soil and complete independence after being colonised for more than 6 centuries. A rally was called for and many people attended it.


Formation of UMNO upsets the non-malay race which at that time was part of the community that makes up Malaya. They fear that they would have to leave Malaya if UMNO gains independence and their demands being met by the British Empire. Hence, the Malayan Chinese  Association (MCA) was formed. Their leader was Tan Cheng Lock. Similarly there was also Malayan Indian Congress (MIC) representing the Indians.


All of them have one same goal (Independence of Malaya) and yet neither of them wants to back down from having their demands met. Finally, MCA and MIC agreed how the Malays would be head of state, drawn by the Malay Sultans, Malay would be the official language, and Malay's education and economic development would be promoted and subsidised. In return, the Chinese and Indians would have proportionate members of parliament and their economic position is unharmed. The coalition Barisan Nasional was made with all parties joined in with a mission, the independence of Malaya.


Malaya finally gained independence from the British Empire after 6 centuries of being colonised by different nations and empires.


Its been 55 years since then. Malaya is no longer Malaya, it's Malaysia now. Things have changed. As time progress, one would wonder, will the history of our nation be forgotten? Perhaps not. As long as there is people who appreciates the fight that these people had fought for, so long it will not die the great sacrifice that all races had to bear. The unity then was great. Barisan Nasional's mission has long accomplished. It's been more than half a century that BN ruled over the soil of Malaysia.


Saying all these history of how BN gain independence from Britain does not make me a supporter of them. Nor am I against them. I am merely stating the history behind our great nation. Like it or not, it is the history and you can't change that. No one can deny the fact that BN obtained independence from Britain for the people. You have to give credit to them for having the courage for standing up against the biggest Empire of the world and said "I want to be free!".


It's ironic how the BN used to rally against the British Empire and now the Malaysian people are rallying against BN. Is it time that BN finally step down and give opportunity to others for ruling of Malaysia? Well, perhaps. Being too long in power can sometimes cloud your eyes for fair treatment and honesty in power.


I don't know the truth of how corrupt the government is nor do I know how truthful the opposition is. But I've been sitting and looking at our great Nation and where it is heading. Certainly a progress, but not all progress is good. To say that I'm in favour of BN staying as the government, not quite because I would want to see a change in the political positions of Malaysia. But I certainly don't like how a group of parties with different aims ruling Malaysia.


If the opposition is ever going to rule Malaysia, they will need to sit down and talk. What is their purpose? Was it just to overthrow BN? What are they fighting for? Because as far as I know PKR promotes its ideals that revolves around social justice and anti-corruption themes, PAS with its aim to establish Malaysia as a nation based on Islamic legal theory and DAP with its secular, multi-racial, social democratic ideals

Honestly, I like to see a change in Malaysia. The people of Malaysia is maturing. They know they have the power to make a change. That is good. I'm happy for what has become to the Malaysian people. Change will come, most definitely. I am sure of it. And it will be up to the Malaysian people to decide. Compromise is the key word here. The government no matter the BN or the PR can't meet the demands of everyone. No one can satisfy everyone. Just remember that.

I just wish that the people would know this. Careful not to overthrow a tyrant just to crown another tyrant on the throne because all tyrants are the same.

All the best Malaysia! May Allah look upon you :)

p.s : In this blog entry, I have no intention of downgrading any party of Malaysia. It is just a humble opinion and how I see our nation is. If what was written here offended you by any way, then I apologize. Please bear in mind that I'm not in support of any political party at the moment. Thank you for reading.

The blistering cold..

Charlie sits there like a free man with a blanket no thicker than a phone. His dirty, stained with dirt hand reaches out, asking for alms. Funny how few months ago he was a man with 2 mortgages and 3 cars.

Charlie was a business man. Like every other business man, what he does is playing with risk. Making investments here and there; taking a risk. It just so happens that Charlie took the wrong risk at the wrong time. In these days, recession hits everyone Charlie included. He remembers the day when he was finally chased out by the Bank that he owes money from. It was sad. His wife divorced him, took the kids and went back to her family down south.

The one thing he never regrets was upholding his principle. He accepts what he has and what he doesn't. In his mind, he's a poor man with a value. Well, at least he has something in him.

Charlie, of course, sleeps on the street. He starts wandering around at 7am and ask for alms. By 12 noon, he'd make enough to have a piece of bread for lunch. After that he would wander off again till he gets enough for dinner. That was his daily routine. Much like when he was still working. 7am at work, 12 noon lunch break and continue off till dinner time. Funny how our life dictates us the same even when we have nothing.

There was once, a man who Charlie had saved from being robbed. The man was in his late 60s, 5ft 8in, medium build with a white beard. His name was Arthur. This man has been living alone for 20 years after his wife died. Hasn't got any kids. Charlie would be about the age of his son, if his son were still alive.

Arthur let Charlie stay in his home for a few days. Heck, for as long as he wants. Arthur probably knew that if he gave that offer to a homeless guy, that guy would never leave. But there was something in Charlie that Arthur saw. Something so special that it made Arthur trust him well enough. Besides, he could use some company.

Charlie never knew his dad. Never knew what is daddy's love like. That night, he imagined Arthur as his father. Although it might be far-fetched because Charlie looks nothing like him but it gave a sense of comfort to him. It felt like home.

After quite some time, Charlie felt so comfortable he thought he never want to leave. Arthur insist that he stay until he is able to find a job again. To stand up on his two feet. But the economy was bad. It was a global recession, one that many analyst define as the Great Depression.

Arthur saved enough money during his work days, he could feed a family of four for 10 years in the recession. Arthur was a man who saves money for times of trouble. All those years paid off finally.

Charlie felt it was wrong. He's poor. He's homeless. But yet he's in a home. Comfy and warm. His clothes are clean and tidy. He gets hot shower in the morning. A bed and a pillow to sleep. A kitchen to cook and eat. A living room to enjoy. He has what normal people has and yet he has nothing.

So Charlie takes his old clothes, one that he kept in a box in the wardrobe. He puts on his sock while sitting on the stairs. He take one last look in the house. A place of warmth. Arthur is sound asleep. Being an old man, he sleeps early. Charlie muster up his courage to face reality. One that he was meant to be. He opens the door, and head into the blistering cold.

A stigma..

Stigma is a very big part of medicine especially in mental health issues. Almost everyone experienced stigma. But it is more prevalent in those with an illness.

Just what the hell is this stigma??

I think an example would best show what it is. For example, a man with a previous history of severe depression, wanted to rent a flat. The owner is fine with him staying as long as he stays away from his young children. The man in return replied "I'm not a child-eater you know. I'm human just like you." The man who is completely fine, in good health, is experiencing stigma enacted by his landlord. That is stigma.

It might seem trivia but it doesn't when we ourselves experienced it. Stigma comes in many form. Even in the form that other people can't see. That is felt stigma. A stigma that is within the person anticipating an enacted stigma.

People sometimes need to stop judging people from what they had in their past. Sometimes, even health care professionals enact stigma on patients. I know it's difficult to not prejudice to someone else just because they had bi-polar disorder, or schizophrenia, but if they do not do anything to you, then why should do anything to them? Why prejudice?

I read an article once in British Medical Journal about the life story of the article's author himself...He was a medical student who had bi-polar disorder. He dropped out of med school for failing exams and had a trouble with the police force. However, he got help and got better in a year. He then requested the med school for a second chance and was lucky to be given one.

Since then he got numerous prize for outstanding performances. He also completed a PhD and currently doing another one as well. He's married, have two lovely kids and a three-legged cat.

The thing is, he knew what it was like to be stigmatised. People were telling him to quit because of his mental health illness. But he kept on going proving others wrong. He said, stigma is like a disease. It spreads from one person to another.

People choose what they want to believe but they didn't think for once that they might be wrong. People who had mental health or any illness is no different from us. It's their action today that define who they are at the moment.

Why prejudice? They are us, and we are them. No one likes to be judged by others, so why should you?

Back to the past...

Scrolling through the blog for one more time. Ahhh...memories~ But wait! OH GOD WHY!? Just had the moment when you realize how stupid you were for posting stuffs that you didn't give much thought. Oh well, everyone had their moments in life when you hope you'd do better.

Hope all those experience made me a better person today than I ever was. However, it was enjoyable to read how one's mind evolve over time especially if that person is you yourself! The human mind and emotions are very peculiar. As if unpredictable in terms of ageing.

I've never really give it much thought but does human thinking behaviour and present emotions will affect your ageing and thinking development?

Oddly enough, I'll probably let the future of this blog decide :)

Till then! Teraaahh!

Salam.

A bond that cannot be broken.

Bond.

An unbreakable bond.

Some people upon hearing this would probably tell themselves "I know about these bonds".

Well, yes. All of you do know this bond. This feeling of security and love so much that you'll never get tired of it. It'll never wear down, although sometimes there's holes and tears but this bond always manage to mend itself. Always manage to get hold of your deepest feelings.

However, like everything else in this world, to each person, this bond is different. Some have strong, some have weak. But nevertheless, it is there. Which is why to each person is unique. I'm pretty sure most people have a strong bond.

You know what I'm talking about.

Family.

I do not know everyone's relationship with their family or if any of their family members already passed away. Therefore, I apologize sincerely because I might have not known what you've been through. In that case, please allow me to give you a glimpse of what I feel for my family.

Family is like a house. You build the foundation out of love. The stronger the better. Once the foundation is laid out and then the pillars comes next. This is where the children came into play. Son and daughters is the pillars of a new home. The bricks are all the experience you get from your family. Each and every brick is different from one another. The more you have, the stronger your home is.

Next is the roof. The roof is what is the result of the love and experience together. The roof is the bond that I'm talking about. It shelters the home from being wet from the rain, or the heat from the Sun.

If you miss any one of those, the house is incomplete.

Let it be a big house, or a small house. Each one of them give a feeling like no other. Feeling of being belong to something. All of my experience, my family have been there for me. Let it be when I was ill or when I was taking my exam results or when I was sad. But I know my family would not be there for me forever. And when the time comes, I do not want to have any regrets.

I wish when the time come for me to serve my parents, I will not hesitate. Just like my parents did not hesitate to give me food when I was hungry. To clean me when I am dirty. To hold my hands as I learn how to walk. To listen to me when I learn to speak.

I hope this for you as well. Please learn something out of this. Parents will get old. They will move on someday. And you'll make your own family.

Have you not ever sit down together with your family and realize how many grey hairs your parents have? How they could not do the things that they use to do and needed your help? You're blind if you can't see this.

I often ask myself, what can I do? Most of the time, I couldn't get an answer. You know why? Because my parents never ask for anything. I'm sure the same for you too.

So please. Wherever you are, whether it's far or close to your home. Give your parents a hug. Give them a call. Tell them you miss them. Tell them you love them. Don't wait till Hari Raya to say these words. You'll never know what would happen.

Lets make du'a for our parents.

"All praise due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, the most Merciful, please forgive all my sins, my friend's and my parents. Please protect my parents from the evil of their own souls and evil of others. Protect them from the fire of hell and open your gate of Jannah to them. Bless them with your blessings oh dear Lord. Love them as much as they loved me when I was a child. Care for them like they have cared for me. For you are the best Protector and the All-Forgiving. Amiin"

Thanks for reading.

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Weekend backpacking!

This weekend I'm backpacking to Liverpool! :) I hope it's gonna be fun trip though! Well, I've always wanted to visit the Anfield stadium but I hope there's no home game this weekend! Otherwise, I'll just have to visit the Beatles museum then!

4-5 hours via bus to Manchester! An hour train to Liverpool! :) Kinda lame to talk about it but this is my first time touring UK via public transport! Haha :)

Well then, shall we not share the way of the prophets who always start their journey with a doa? :D

Bismillah :)


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Location:Dilston Rd,Newcastle Upon Tyne,United Kingdom