Feeling down...

I can't help myself to feel down...I wonder why is that...Is it because of someone? Or is it because of things that is happening around me?

I have long search for the truth in me, and for once I've found it deep within parts of my heart that isn't opened for a long time. The part of the missing pieces.

Perhaps what I've been feeling these past few days is just a mirage....or just a way for me to run from the truth. I never actually explored the feelings that I had. I'd just played along.....

But now, it has never been more clear than it is...

Imperfection

We are all an imperfection. Is there anyone disagreeing on this statement? I challenge you to come forward....

The truth is that we are imperfect and we are created this way. How on earth are we claiming that someone's better than you if we all know that each and everyone of us is imperfect? How come his/her flaws is not seen? How come our flaws are obvious to some people?

What we see in others is what we choose it to be. Why someone is seen so perfect but not all of us is seen that way? Why that person is chosen instead of others?

When we are being compared to someone who are better than us....why the need of the moroseness?? Why aren't we grateful that our weakness is being shown to us?

I know it sucks to be compared with someone better than us. It really is....I hate it too, but does that stop me from being who I am?

Being imperfect is what makes us perfect. Our flaws made us different from one another...makes us unique....

We are not for what we are meant to be, but who we were born to be....And we are born to be human. And being human is that we should realise our flaws and accept them....That is the truth of imperfection...

Update

It's been a long time since I last update thing blog. About a week....Sorry for not writing anything at all. I'm not well for the past few days... :)

So, what is there to write here today? Let's see...

I had two interviews last week, which was very fun. I bought someone subway...I wanted to gave her a treat, but she insisted on paying.

I got two treats from two different person! :D

Played ping pong and lost 7 sets, win 6 sets....

I played ping pong against Harith (wakil kolej for ping pong)...I lost 11-8, 11-11(2-0), 11-11(2-0)....See! I can actually match up against him :D

I get to know new friends....during interview :D

I went window shopping at KLCC after interview...

Ate at secret recipe in PJ!

Took pictures of a garden of the PJ8 building....

What else did I do last week?? LOL....that pretty much it... :D

The World According to Me...

If one day I was granted the power to change the world, here are some of the lists that I would want to have...

1. The nations combined altogether and form an alliance.

2. The alliance is led by me :P

3. I'll announce that McD, Burger King, and KFC should be under the government's control...so that I can have burgers for free :D :D

4. There would be Subway for every 500m radius in major cities...so that people can enjoy the sumptuous, juicy, mouth-filling sandwiches.

5. Not to mention, every home would get at least 4.0mbps internet connection with 90% packet data transmission. Which means that if you download 1.0 GB file, it'll only take around 5 mins :D :D :D

6. Free lunch toys for kids!! Haha...

7. All militaries personnel are to sworn allegiance to me alone :P

8. I'll have so much luxury cars, that I don't know which one to look at... :P

9. Oh yeah, I'll live the Burj Dubai...

10. Or perhaps the Birmingham Castle would be my new home...

11. About a wife....I'll get to that later :)

12. I would like to build like a dome to cover the whole of Malaysia....and then put on a massive air conditioner, so that it won't be so hot :D :D

13. Oh yeah, I almost forgot...perhaps I'll give KMS some money...since they are really short of it :) :)

14. I'll tranfer the Jews into the North Pole...(Honestly, they're not doing us any good here...just my two cents :D)

15. I think I want to learn how to fly a jet fighter. Or ride a tank!

16. Last of them all....I want to have a happy family to live with....for the rest of my life :)

Headache...

I'm really tired of listening to your relationship problems....YES, I do have the reputation to save some relationships, but I'm thinking of not doing this anymore. Please, I'm really really tired of it.

Listening to your problems really make me feel that there is no such thing as a happy ending. It gotta end bad somehow. Whatever you seen in the movies are fakes! They never existed....

Life is not what about you've lost...Its what about you've already got. Let your past be the past! Don't let it linger around you anymore. That's what I've been trying to tell everyone...You are who you are right now...Not who you WERE...

I know I'm just a dumpsite for your problems...but do you consider how I feel??? Watching people come and go in my life! Without leaving any footprints....

Do you know what it's like to know them so quick and so deep...and then the next day, pretending nothing happened? Like we never talked and never met???

Hmmm.....Enough is enough! After this, I'm not going to listen anymore. Only to those I think I'm close to....The rest, you can find others that willingly to listen and to carefully judge your situation. I'm done.....


That's it for me...

Hmm...

In a state of depression...

There was a fight today...

A plate of rice was on my table. Each grain of rice was tickling as though they are shouting "Eat me!!." I took a scoop with my spoon, and slowly partitioned the rice into just enough for a bite. The food court is filled with sumptuos food and smell that can trigger your appetite..

Suddenly, there was a scream. Then, I can hear kitchen utensils falling down hard! From a distance I could saw two silhouettes. As the shadows became clear, I can see their faces....

I could tell that one person was bleeding profusely on his face....

I jumped off my seat! Rushing towards the scene of action.

There were two person fighting each other!! I'm strong enough to handle and to stop them both...because I did it before.

As I was hurrying to the scene, I could see other people just sat down and closed their ears...as though there was an annoying sound that disturb their lunch. Why can't they even help??

When I got close...I was about to grab hold one of them but suddenly! It was a girl!

I stopped! I stood there quietly! Without doing anything....

I told myself I gotta help that guy....but I just can't...

In the end, I stood there alone feeling guilty for that guy bleeding....There were another two guys that came along and helped. I just stood there and watched them...

I just can't help to disperse that fight! One of them was a girl! I can't be rough to a girl! I just can't! Not to a girl that isn't causing me any harm....

Probably she got her own reason to attack that man....I don't know. But if it was two guys that were fighting...Yes! I could have stopped them both...

But there's a girl! How could I? One thing is that I can't touch her....Another thing is that I can't possibly be rough to her! I can't grab her clothes and yank her aside! Hmmm....what should I do then? Talk like a close friend???

So, in the end...the other two guy that helped both of them. They were quite rough, but the fight was ended. They were chinese guys...Unfortunately, the ones fighting were malays....It was strange why other malays wasn't even trying to help! Its sad....

So, in the end....its just another fight...

I gotta a feeling...

It was 11 years ago, when a young small boy first enrolled himself into the primary school. It was frightening and yet at the same time was exciting.

The night before the big day, he sat on his bed wondering of tomorrow. It was a mixture of feeling.

Sad - for leaving home
Frighten - wondering about new friends and tomorrow is a mystery
Happy - for meeting friends
Anxious - learning new things



There are a dozen more that he felt that night. Everytime he gave thought of it, he got cold fingers tickling his spines.

That night he tried to sleep but it seems that his adrenaline rush was too much for him. He was staring blankly to the fan that seems to spin endlessly on the ceiling.

Once in a while his thoughts wander off to his new school.

Sadly, he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to go to school unlike any other kids. He still thinks that he should be in kindergarten school. Yet, his age defies his intention of staying in the kindergarten.

That night he went on thinking.....went on thinking till his head hurts.

Today....it seems old habits die hard. Everytime before he goes to sleep, he would find something to think of. Whether it is a person, or an event, or an incident...there'll always be something to think about.

He would sometimes take hours before he sleeps...sometimes just minutes...but no matter what, he will give something a thought. It has become his habit for the past 11 years, which began when he was only 7 years old.

And now he's in college. Doing International Baccalaureate and in his final sem.

He's good looking though, plus charming from the inside. A guy with some sense of humour and with a lot of deep thought.

What is sad is that the only thing that he cannot resist is loneliness. Every night when he goes to sleep, one thing is a must that he gave a thought on is the loneliness in his life. Though the amount of friends that he have, he still feel he was enclosed in a cage, far away from people...far away from friends.


Many do no understand him, much less try to understand him. Perhaps only one person ever knew who he really is. But none know what he always think about.


Everyday he gotta a feeling...
Everyday I gotta a feeling...

That today gonna be a lonely day...

The Dawning Saga : The return of KMS

I'm sure that each and everyone of you are suffering the same fate as I am(those who study in KMS of course). It is less than 24 hours now that we have to return to KMS and fulfill our obligation as a student.

What's more? Its the last sem for seniors with barely 4 months to finish the course.(For juniors, you guys have a long way to go..). I kinda starting to feel the jitters. Its finally approaching to an end. It was about a year ago when I thought, IB had no ending. Part of it yeah! Such as CAS.

When I first set foot in KMS, I told myself "This is a hell-hole. I must get out of here! I will never ever want to come back here again."

I told Pak Lan the same thing during our mentor-mentee meeting. He chuckled and said "You'll miss this place somehow! Trust me on this"

True enough, he is right. I will miss KMS when IB comes to an end. I succumbed to that feeling somehow that KMS has one of the best memories in my life. Classmates, friends....all contributing to that sweet memories.

Hahaa...talking about sweet memories, there are also bitter ones. Like assignments, EE, TOK essay, IAs...

"When something is hard to earn, you'll cherish it even more." I believe the IB is the perfect example for this saying. You'll agree with me somehow on this one ;)

Anyway, the return of KMS this time is something to look forward to (I'm just saying this...not really show how I feelt though :P).

Everyone! With the courage of men! With the will of Iron! Let's do our best! For it is our future that is at stake~